Neko and Jien's Happy Hour
by NekoFarfie
Summary: Welcome to Neko and Jien's Happy Hour! Enjoy the show!!


Neko and Jien's Happy Hour (Weiß Kreuz)  
  
Nope! Don't own the characters! Just using them for *cough* entertainment. ^_^  
  
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*Sparkling Lights, loud cheesy music and two SD figures, one Neko and one Jien suddenly pop up in front of a light pink background*  
  
Neko: Welcome welcome!! *waves frantically* Welcome to the Neko and Jien's Happy Hour!! Yay!  
  
*Roses and sparkles surround her while spontaneous cheering and loud clapping burst out with fireworks in the background. SD Jien sweatdrops*  
  
Jien: *Still with sweatdrop* I can't believe I'm doing this.  
  
Neko: *Sticks out her tongue* Tough. Just live with it. Anyhow, today we'll be featuring "THE CUTEST ROMANCE IN WEIß KREUZ"!!  
  
*A large pink sign featuring the aforementioned words, crashes down on stage behind the two of them and Jien staggers slightly to regain his balance while Neko continues on her sugar high, seemingly unaware. Meanwhile, in the audience, Tot and Nagi stiffen in sudden fear*  
  
Neko: Today, we'll be.  
  
Jien: *Groans* Diabetes attack. diabetes attack. Too. much. pink. must. Es.cape.  
  
*Neko quickly grabs the crawling Jien in a headlock and continues*  
  
Neko: . talking about TOT and NAGI!!! C'mon up here you two lovebirds!  
  
*A scuffle erupts from among the audience as Crawford, Schuldig and Farferello have to restrain Nagi as he frantically makes for the doorway. Meanwhile the rest of the members of Schreient merely push a blinking Tot to the front. *  
  
Tot: Nani?  
  
Schuldig: *huffing* No. urgh. you can't use your. *He yelped as one of Nagi's seemingly eight thrashing elbows connected with his ribs* . powers. It's in the. (Ouch. stop that) contract we *oof* signed before we came. *yelp* in.  
  
Crawford: *sighs and casually leans back* Hey Nagi, I think Tot's in trouble.  
  
Nagi: *suddenly stops moving* What?! Whe.ee.rrr.eee. *The last sentence is abruptly drawn out as Nagi is punted to the front of the stage by Crawford who dusts off his hands and sits down*  
  
Neko: *sweatdrops and waves* Thanks.  
  
*Crawford nods in reply while the other members of Schwartz inch away from him slightly. If he's so cruel to use such an under-handed tactic on Nagi. X.x*  
  
Neko: Anyhow, continuing with the show, everyone please welcome our two honoured guests!  
  
*Jien and audience sweatdrop at see the two squirming bundles of rope muttering round the gag*  
  
Jien: I can't believe that we're doing this.  
  
Neko: *nudges Jien* *ahem* Hurry up and say your lines.  
  
Jien: *frowns and shakes his head with determination* No.  
  
Neko: *growls* Jien. *indicates to a corner where a precious stock of TRIGUN Maximum comics are suspended over a bonfire*  
  
Jien: *huffs* Fine. *Clears his throat. Suddenly turns cutely chibi while the audience and everyone who knows Jien better sweatdrops* Ooh. how cute they are. Whose the cutest anime villain couple. yes you are, yes you are. Coochy coo. *starts baby talk and tickling the two trussed up villains*  
  
Audience: *facevault*  
  
Nagi/Tot: @_@ *helpless to do anything*  
  
Jien: *reverts back * Are we done yet?  
  
Neko: Hmm. *grinning while putting the camera back into the bag* Well. let's start with the interview segment of this show.  
  
*Abruptly, the scene changes to reveal a swirly eyed Nagi and Tot sitting in two plush armchairs with Jien and Neko sitting on either side of them a'la chat-show style*  
  
Nagi: Huh? What happened?  
  
Jien: *briskly* You are now under Chat-show arrest. You have the right to do anything you want except remain silent. Anything you do or say will be televised across national, galaxial, universal and the time-space continuum boundaries. If you do not understand these rights. Tough. *flings the card over his shoulder while he looks at Neko to continue*  
  
Ken: *whispers to Omi* Why does that sound ominous?  
  
Omi: *whispers back* Shush. I'm too busy praying that they're not going to call me in my lifetime.  
  
Neko: Heh heh. *Nagi and Tot pale* We have a couple of questions here but first. Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help the Suzaku?  
  
*Question marks are seen above the audience's heads while both Nagi and Tot frantically shake their heads. for about five seconds before Tamahome suddenly appears out of nowhere, grabs both heads and nods them vigorously for both of them*  
  
Nagi: What the.?! *gasp* How could you do this to a fellow anime character?!  
  
Tamahome: *Shrugs* They paid me. Anyhow, see ya! I have another cameo in a Bishounen Beauty Pageant contest. If I win, I get 6,000,000,000,000 yen. *little money signs replace his eyes and he merrily skips off*  
  
Jien: *Leans over and whispers to Neko* How much did that cost us?  
  
Neko: *grins* Nothing, I'm receiving bribes from all over the place for not putting them in our show.  
  
*Jien sweatdrops*  
  
Neko: Back to the show. Jien, what is our first question?  
  
Jien: *Glances at his card* Our first question is from. *sweatdrop* Neko from anime-land. *He rolls his eyes while Neko waves frantically* *reads* Tot, what's with the stupid playboy bunny costume thing?  
  
Tot: *squeaks* I..  
  
Neko: *leans in closer until Tot almost topples over to lean away* Is it because Nagi likes that sort of thing? *ignores Nagi's protests* Do you have a complex about yourself? What did both of you do on your first date? How do you reconcile your feelings with Nagi with your love for the Doctor Takatori? Don't you feel like you're betraying his memory?  
  
Nagi: Hey!  
  
Neko: *target is suddenly switched* And you Nagi! How did you feel about almost betraying your group by wanting to confide in Tot about your nefarious scheme to steal Aya-chan from them? How did you feel about that? And what attracted you to her in the first place? Was it the sweet personality, her childish innocence, or her tight clothing. or was it something kinky like her umbrella!  
  
Jien: Neko. *growls warningly*  
  
Neko: *large eyes filled with sparkling innocence* Yes?  
  
Jien: *sighs and rubs his temples as if feeling the onset of a massive migraine* Never mind. Why don't we let our "Guests" have some time to think those questions over. Now we'll show a short documentary about their relationship which encapsulates the romance.  
  
Neko: The drama.  
  
Jien: . the excitement.  
  
Neko: . and the maturity of their romance.  
  
*Lights suddenly dim and a large screen plonks out from nowhere, scaring everybody. Aya, upon realizing it's a harmless powerpoint screen, pauses and resheaths his katana, noticing the others doing the same to the assorted weapons which had appeared out of nowhere*  
  
Aya: Omi, where did that come from?  
  
Omi: *praying* They don't know me, they don't know me, they don't know me.  
  
Ken: I don't think it's a good idea to talk to him now.  
  
Yohji: *grumbles* He's always like this whenever he comes.  
  
Ken: Which reminds me. Why are they *points to the assorted villains and extras milling around* and we here?  
  
Voice: Because Persia and SS sacrificed us to make sure they wouldn't be called to the stage.  
  
All: What?! *turns around to see Manx*  
  
Manx: Hush and watch the show. If I have to do this, all of you have to do this too. Just be thankful we're not on this week.  
  
All: *shriek* This week?!  
  
Neko: *clears her throat* . *ahem* AND the maturity of their romance. *looks pointedly at the five who subside grudgingly*  
  
White Screen.  
  
Suddenly.  
  
TOT AND NAGI SITTING 'NEATH THE TREE  
  
K-I-S-S-I-N-G  
  
FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE.  
  
As everybody sweatdrops at the picture of chibi-Neko and chibi-Jien singing the rhyme at the top of their lungs, an ominous white light slowly surrounds Nagi until.  
  
.THEN COMES THE BABY IN THE BABY.  
  
*KABOOM!!!!*  
  
Several hours later.  
  
Jien: *emerges from the rubble* Are we covered by insurance cause I get the feeling the studio's gonna sue.  
  
Neko: Think so. Still, look at it this way, at least we brought the house down. house. *snort* .. down. *chortle* get it. house down. Nagi explodes studio. *rolls on floor laughing*  
  
*MAJOR SWEATDROP*  
  
Jien: Why me?  
  
  
  
[Owari] 


End file.
